bleah

I think that's how Charlie Brown used to say it. Closing up a life is never easy. Especially when dealing with all the accumulated stuff of a lifetime. Or a third of a lifetime.

"Hello, my name is Zac and I have lived one third of my expected life."

Today I am facing up to some realities, making some decisions. It reminds me of eating tô in Mali - doesn't taste good, don't want to do it, but need to have it done.

The bad days that I know are ahead have just become a reality, not some unknowable dark force causing dread in my heart. I know I will be as ready for them as I can be, just because I sit here in the cushiness and ease putting together what armor I have. I also know that at some point, or many points, it won't be enough. This world is too easy, too effortless to possibly prepare me for the demands of that world. Americans are weak because we don't know how hard the act of surviving can be.

Not a particularly uplifting post.