Back again

So, the internet was away on vacation. It took a couple of weeks off because it was tired of the bad generators and phone lines and wackiness that is computing in Fara Fenni. During its leave, I had many friends come to town in attempts to get online, which made the time seem much longer than not quite two weeks. But, I'm back now and emailing and catching up.

Life is good these days, with plenty of challenges but my basic resources and needs under control. My health continues to be good, which is a big help in dealing with the heat and everything else. Projects are very busy, which is great and makes the time go by faster than I'd wish. Except for the hot season, that can get done with itself any day now. We have at least another month, I'd say, and I'm not holding my breath.

Don't have much time to write, wanted to get something up and will hopefully be back before too long...

Lunchtime Sun

Today I was taking a poop in the lunchtime sun.

It was hot, obviously. It is hot here almost all of the time. Unexpectedly, the mornings
are still cool until about 8:30. I usually start to stir around six, and recently have been
letting myself lay about for a long while in the cool. Actually, it's not so ridiculously
hot here. Perhaps I've acclimatized or I don't know what, but I'm not as floored by the
heat as I expected to be. And I'm getting used to being sweaty all the time - which isn't
actually true because there are usually ten minutes or so after a bath, and then the middle
of the night, when I'm not sweating at all. AND, on my recent trip to Kombo, I bought a
little fan, which I can run on my solar setup and be very nearly comfortable at any time of
day. It's amazing!

Anyway, back to where I started. Squatted over my pit latrine, I thought about how hot the
sun was on my running-with-sweat back, but how I didn't mind it, I was even enjoying it a
little. I knew that I could just have a bucket bath right away, and it just seem to be that
big of a deal - I am staying well hydrated, I know how to handle the heat, and even as I
type this, sweat rolls down my chin and is almost a comfort, if it weren't a little
embarrassing to be dripping with sweat. But, I am doing well, I'd say. May was supposed to
be a boogey man of a month, the one that broke one's back, but I am hanging in there and
getting a laugh about how afraid of it I was.

The hard thing is probably going to be the long haul, the constant sweatiness once the rains
come, and just dealing with it until mid-November. But, bring it on! At least today. I
well remember being in this same computer room writing a couple posts back and being
bitterly unhappy with the sweat and it all. Ups and downs, life and all of it.

Every few days a thought passes through my head: "in X days, I'll be thirty years old."
Thirty is a new number, one that had important connotations for most of my life. My brother
and I both said we could feel justified doing anything until we were thirty, then we should
settle down and get serious about the future. Or something. Now I realize that life just
keeps going, and I'll keep being me on May 30 just like I am on May 11. But, it still seems
to be more important than any random birthday - it's not 22, when I didn't even know it was
my birthday until I was writing in my journal and put down the date. So, I'll be thirty.

And I'm so ready for it. I'm realizing why so many people said that they would never trade
what they have learned about themselves for the years it took to learn it. It's much easier
to get through life now - not easy but easier - that I've spent the time doing it for a
while. And I don't waste so much time with the unimportant stuff.

Maybe that's the best part about Peace Corps. I have the time to realize what's important
to me, and the freedom to make up my own mind about how to pursue those things. Freedom and time are things that I have perhaps valued too lightly in the past, and things that I'm sure
I'll not have enough of in the future. But for right now, I'm in a sweet spot. In Africa,
sweating and dirty. Life couldn't be better.

love,
Zac

pictures

I posted pictures from Ghana and of my solar stuff to the flickr site. Things are good, busy and rewarding at the moment. It's late and I've been sitting here for far too long. Hope everyone is well, I should be back online soon from Fara Fenni.

what I want for my birthday:

"Vivir Para Contarla" (Living to Tell the Tale) by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

The third book in the Baroque Cycle by Neal Stephenson

tuna in a pouch

dried fruits/nuts - Fisher Nut and Fruit mixes are yummy

letters

an old cellphone from Europe that uses sim cards

any homemade food you think will make it through the journey

any clif bar type thing without chocolate, which just turns into a melty mess now

scotch (but I think I'm buying this one for myself, so don't worry about it)

a skype connection in Fara Fenni (I am now zacshepherd on skype, but don't get a chance to use it ever)

more time.

I thought I came to Peace Corps to find out what life would be like with more time than I knew what to do with. It turns out that even here, I am able to overschedule and do too much. I just talked to some guys about the jazz festival in St. Louis, Senegal, at the end of the month. It was something I had very much wanted to attend, but then decided against because of the trip to Ghana and work being so busy. Now I am all excited about it again - I know it would be a lot of fun, one of those once-in-a-lifetime type experiences, and I miss seeing live music. But I just don't think it can work out, time wise. Argh.

Things have greatly improved since I last posted. I should be sure to put that on the record, as I know my rant wasn't well received in all corners. (I got a couple of worried emails). Today I am back in Kombo for a quick trip to get some bits and pieces - the solar is up and running (!!) but the charge controller had a broken display, which I've managed to get replaced. The weather at home is more manageable - a combination of less humidity and me acclimatizing - and life is better overall. So, please don't get too concerned.

A great friend of mine is struggling with loss right now, and, again, I feel too far away. On the vehicle across to Barra (where I catch a ferry to Banjul), I was thinking about my living situation here, reflecting on what a woman said to me the other day. She said that I should just find a wife and stay in Fara Fenni forever, they liked me and I do good work and I am happy. I couldn't explain to her some of the challenges that I face, but I did say that I would be more able to stay here forever if my people weren't so far away all the time. That's really the hardest thing on a consistent basis. To not be there for all the good times and the bad times. I always wish I could somehow make things all better for people, but at some point in the last few years I realized that's not possible, and all one can really do is be present. So, it sucks when I can't be. And this is another one of those things that is equally true throughout my life, but is put into sharper relief by this experience.