what I want for my birthday:

"Vivir Para Contarla" (Living to Tell the Tale) by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

The third book in the Baroque Cycle by Neal Stephenson

tuna in a pouch

dried fruits/nuts - Fisher Nut and Fruit mixes are yummy

letters

an old cellphone from Europe that uses sim cards

any homemade food you think will make it through the journey

any clif bar type thing without chocolate, which just turns into a melty mess now

scotch (but I think I'm buying this one for myself, so don't worry about it)

a skype connection in Fara Fenni (I am now zacshepherd on skype, but don't get a chance to use it ever)

more time.

I thought I came to Peace Corps to find out what life would be like with more time than I knew what to do with. It turns out that even here, I am able to overschedule and do too much. I just talked to some guys about the jazz festival in St. Louis, Senegal, at the end of the month. It was something I had very much wanted to attend, but then decided against because of the trip to Ghana and work being so busy. Now I am all excited about it again - I know it would be a lot of fun, one of those once-in-a-lifetime type experiences, and I miss seeing live music. But I just don't think it can work out, time wise. Argh.

Things have greatly improved since I last posted. I should be sure to put that on the record, as I know my rant wasn't well received in all corners. (I got a couple of worried emails). Today I am back in Kombo for a quick trip to get some bits and pieces - the solar is up and running (!!) but the charge controller had a broken display, which I've managed to get replaced. The weather at home is more manageable - a combination of less humidity and me acclimatizing - and life is better overall. So, please don't get too concerned.

A great friend of mine is struggling with loss right now, and, again, I feel too far away. On the vehicle across to Barra (where I catch a ferry to Banjul), I was thinking about my living situation here, reflecting on what a woman said to me the other day. She said that I should just find a wife and stay in Fara Fenni forever, they liked me and I do good work and I am happy. I couldn't explain to her some of the challenges that I face, but I did say that I would be more able to stay here forever if my people weren't so far away all the time. That's really the hardest thing on a consistent basis. To not be there for all the good times and the bad times. I always wish I could somehow make things all better for people, but at some point in the last few years I realized that's not possible, and all one can really do is be present. So, it sucks when I can't be. And this is another one of those things that is equally true throughout my life, but is put into sharper relief by this experience.